How does he know about every good and bad thing I’ve done?
How does he make it to everyone’s house in one night!?
Does he only know how to say “Ho, Ho, Ho!” ?!?!?!?!

Santa Claus is not real.

How old were you when your parents told you? It was probably a long time ago. It hurt at first. But you got over it when you realized that you still get presents and you don’t have to act like an angel to earn them.

It’s Christmas Eve.

You have a pocket full of cash from Grandma, a brand new phone from Dad, a fresh pair of kicks from mom and you’ve spent way too much time making small talk with uncles and aunts you can’t really remember.

Time to hit up your crew, put on your new gear and sweat off all the food you had at family dinner. There’s no work or school tomorrow, and leftovers taste better with a hangover.

Christmas Eve is for grown-ups!

Stimulus & Monsieur Dope